Quotes in / about... |
...English: Academia |
Why God never received a PhD:
- He had only one major publication.
- It was in Hebrew.
- It had no references.
- It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
- Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
- It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
- His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
- The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
- He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
- When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
- Some say he had his son teach the class.
- He expelled his first two students for learning.
- Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
- No record of working well with colleagues.
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
...German: Uni |
Ein Mensch, der von Statistik hört,
denkt dabei nur an "Mittelwert".
Er glaubt nicht dran und ist dagegen,
ein Beispiel soll es gleich belegen:
Ein Jäger auf der Entenjagd
hat einen ersten Schuss gewagt.
Der Schuss, zu hastig aus dem Rohr,
lag eine gute Handbreit' vor.
Der zweite Schuss mit lautem Krach
lag eine gute Handbreit' nach.
Der Jäger spricht ganz unbeschwert
voll Glauben an den Mittelwert:
Statistisch ist die Ente tot!
Doch wär' er klug und nähme Schrot
- dies sei gesagt ihn zu belehren -
er würde seine Chancen mehren:
Der Schuss geht ab, die Ente stürzt,
weil Streuung ihr das Leben kürzt